photo credits: Rasmus Lindersson

Have you ever had those moments when something which was totally wrong felt so right? At the back of your mind, you know that you are not supposed to do or engage in things that would harm you and the people around you, and yet you insist on doing it your way. You ignore those little voices whispering into your ears, pleading you to STOP. But, in many cases, you don’t listen. You know and you’re aware of what those little voices are telling you, but you choose to do your own thing, your own way, and with your own assumptions and beliefs.

Have you fallen into a trap where it’s hard to get out, not because you can’t but because there’s something you hold on to and can’t let go? Sometimes, we get so attached with something or someone and that letting go seems so hard. You know you want to set yourself FREE from all the bewildering situations. But, how could that be possible when you just keep on holding on with this thing that gives you happiness even if it means it’s just momentarily and temporarily? It’s a weird feeling of mixed emotions–a psychedelic feeling that you can’t exactly explain what it is. You hate yourself from doing it, from wanting it, from ignoring the consequences. Yet, you don’t seem to mind when you are at a state of getting a dose of your addiction to something or someone.

How come there are moments when some of the BAD STUFF you do feels so RIGHT? Well, you know that it’s wrong, but you just intentionally shut your eyes, cover your ears, and do what you feel like doing however strong your conscience tells you not to let yourself fall into that trap. It leads you to nowhere except that you are caught in a spiral where you just keep on coming back and doing it all over again.

“My soul knows my meat is doing bad things, and is embarrassed. But my meat just keeps right on doing bad, dumb things.” ― Kurt Vonnegut